Have you ever given a presentation at work or had a fear of public speaking? Or maybe you prepared for a big sporting event and you froze? Performance anxiety can take many forms and can affect anyone at any time. Performance anxiety can feel like a racing heart, numbness, blank mind, or dry mouth either before or during a presentation or match. It often takes away from being in the moment because you may be too worried about the outcome!
In this post you will learn how to manage your anxiety leading up to your event, during your event, and afterwards.
How to Manage Anticipatory Anxiety
Anticipatory anxiety can look like excessively worrying about an upcoming event and can look like:
- Overthinking details about the event
- Avoiding thinking about it, due to causing an increase in stress
- Over or under-preparing
- Worrying what other will think of you
- Obsessively thinking about the outcome (i.e. What if ….?)
A huge factor in this is loss of control. Of course there is only so much in our control, so you may use overthinking as the main method of coping. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT is an evidence-based therapy used for anxiety of all kinds. ACT sees thought fusion, and avoidance and lack of mindfulness as some of the factors making issues such as performance anxiety worse.
What is thought fusion and tips to manage it:
Thought fusion can be defined as believing everything you think and it is important to remember that simply because you think something, does not make it true. You can pick each thought up and inspect it and then set it down and let it go. Thought fusion is said to lead to more anxiety since everyone has irrational thoughts at least sometimes. It’s widely believed in many types of cognitive therapies that in every day occurrences, distress is caused by the way you think about or interpret an event, rather than the event itself. Therefore, it’s important to evaluate how you’re interpreting your thoughts and every day experiences. Of course, this method is not for deeper traumas and distressing events.
Some tips include:
- Passengers on a bus: Imagine you are the driver of a bus and your thoughts are the passengers. You have the option to go down the path you are wanting to go down or listen to the passengers (in this case, your thoughts) and stay on the same old road that you’re used to. Click here for a video about this metaphor
- Movie theater metaphor: Imagine you are walking past a movie theater and all the signs are enticing you to come in and watch the ‘now showing’ films. In this case, the movie posters are for narratives your brain is telling you, but you have the option whether you go in and watch the movie
- Leaves on a stream: The goal is not to block your thoughts, but allow them, but not necessarily
believe them. Follow this guided meditation to try it out
Overall, being a mindful observer of your thoughts and not internalizing them is the most helpful. This is based on the ABC model:
A (Activating Event): A situation or event that triggers a reaction.
B (Beliefs): The irrational or rational thoughts about the event.
C (Consequences): The emotional and behavioral response based on those beliefs
This may look like:
A (Activating Event:): you have a work meeting coming up that you have to lead
B (Beliefs): You think “Everyone is going to know I have no idea what I’m talking about”
C (Consequences): Your anxiety spikes and you end up getting nervous and forgetting what you planned to say
You can read more about this here.
So, what are you to do?
Avoidance and Mindfulness
Studies have shown that avoiding your feelings and not properly processing your emotions leads to more anxiety. The importance of feeling your feelings and not simply responding with immediate action or doing anything to avoid your thoughts and feelings is very high.
Avoidance can take many forms such as:
- Overworking
- Using substances such as alcohol or drugs
- Using social media or phones excessively
- …and even overthinking!
Mindfulness is simply awareness; there is a common misconception that mindfulness means not thinking, but this is largely impossible to stop thinking altogether. Mindfulness is not necessarily just sitting down and meditating. Mindfulness can take many forms! You can even practice mindfulness throughout your day.
Ways of practicing mindfulness throughout the day:
- Being fully present during an activity i.e. brushing your teeth or washing your hair
- Noticing your thoughts and feelings about your upcoming event and not immediately trying to change them
- Doing one thing at a time
Often, we are told ‘don’t worry!’ and the reality is, we cannot shut off our feelings no matter how hard we try! Next time you have an event, notice your thoughts and feelings you have and sit with them, rather than analyzing or trying to immediately shut them off.
How To Deal with Post-Event Anxiety
If things did not go as planned, as frustrating as that can be, be careful not to apply meaning or believe it says anything about you! You can use thought defusion skills as defined above to not apply meaning to the outcome. Some common reactions to an event not going well can include:
- “I’m such a failure”
- “I bet they think I’m such an idiot”
- “I’m never going to win a match”
Remember that these are all thoughts and ultimately simply lead to feeling bad about yourself and are generally unhelpful. Sometimes, even believing these thoughts can be a self-fulfilling prophecy and you may not perform as you’d like at future events.
Using Mindfulness and Acceptance After Your Event
Sometimes it can be hard to accept that things did not go the way you wanted them to, but acceptance of defeat and less-than-deal outcomes are part of the deal. Often we want to win every time or want every meeting to go perfectly, but that is a lot to expect from yourself!
You can validate your feelings and admit it’s not fun to lose or have things go your way.
Returning To Your Values with Committed Action
Instead of focusing on winning or losing or having the perfect meeting or social interaction, what other values does your event serve?
- Community: does it bring you closer to others?
- Leadership: is it giving you the opportunity to lead others?
- Resilience: are you continuing to try despite setbacks
- Connection: is this further developing relationships with others?
- Rather than getting lost in your anxiety and dwelling on how things did not go your way, be sure to honor your feelings and make a plan for next time! This can look like:
- In sports: “I’ll review my performance and focus on training this weak area.”
- At work: “I’ll seek feedback and prepare differently for the next meeting.”
- In a social setting: “I will share my concerns with my friends”
So instead of getting caught in a rumination cycle, accept that things did not go your way and simply prepare as best as you can for next time.
Performance Anxiety is a Part of Growth
Performance anxiety is a common experience, whether in a high-stakes work meeting, a sporting event, or any situation that pushes you outside your comfort zone. It’s okay to feel nervous, but the key is how you respond to these feelings. By recognizing thought fusion, practicing mindfulness, and accepting your emotions rather than avoiding them, you can develop greater psychological flexibility. Instead of letting anxiety dictate your actions, you can return to your values, learn from the experience, and take committed steps forward.
Reach out if you are ready to take the next step in managing performance anxiety and I’d be honored to help you every step of the way.
