Are you wondering if therapy for overthinking can help? Learn to spot the signs and learn how to manage it. It can be hard to realize you are doing it and when you do realize you are experiencing it you might ask – how do I stop it?! As hopeless as it sounds – you can’t! What I mean is – accepting your thoughts often leads to less overthinking. It can also be hugely correlated with perfectionism; if you are interested in learning more about that read this article. To learn more about this paradox, read on. You will learn how to spot the signs you might be overthinking and how to manage it.
If you can relate, I am happy to help!
What causes overthinking?
Overthinking can accompany many situations and can sometimes be caused by anxiety or even trauma. However, what really IS overthinking? Naturally we all have thoughts and have as buddhists call ‘monkey mind’ which can be characterized by incessant thoughts – about the past, future, and everything in between.
Overthinking (or ruminating) is when you cannot stop deliberating or worrying about something. Maybe a fear, maybe a decision, maybe something that happened in the past. For example, maybe you have a fear that you are a bad mom, or a fear that you might never achieve your dreams. Overthinking stems from wanting to create a sense of control. Overthinking about a problem often makes people think that they will come to the perfect solution and can even be a way of avoiding feeling feelings fully.
It is especially common in people who have experienced trauma- traumatized people have often lost a sense of control and want to regain it by any methods possible – what is within their control? Overthinking. It is effective until it’s not.
Anxiety and Overthinking: signs you might be struggling
Signs you might be struggling with anxiety and overthinking include:
- worrying about what ifs
- replaying interactions and conversations
- juggling multiple scenarios
- inability to make decisions
- catastrophizing
Of course it is normal to weigh options or consider possible things that might go wrong, but when that is ruling your life or you come to a conclusion but then still doubt it and continue to overanalyze your thoughts, you might be struggling with anxiety and overthinking or rumination. As stated before, people experience anxiety, and to manage it, they want to ‘fix it’ by coming up with a solution to whatever they are overthinking about, but since the anxiety is so strong (and emotions aren’t something to fix), it increases anxiety and makes it last longer.
The Rumination Cycle: What Is Keeping You Stuck
Picture this- an unpleasant thought emerges – “what if I never find a partner?” You start to feel anxious, you feel your heart start to pound. You feel lonely. You don’t want to think about this possibility and want to avoid this feeling. The rumination cycle begins. Then you attempt to problem solve – “Maybe I’ll get on the apps to find someone” but you’ve tried that and it will take time. Now you are feeling more and more stress so you brainstorm some more. But it’s just amping you up and increasing the anxiety. Why? Because rumination or thinking is actually a form of avoidance.
How to Manage Overthinking and Rumination
Overall, the answer to managing rumination is learning to sit with discomfort and not treating every thought as a problem to solve. People see it is a problem to fix, rather than learning to sit with the uncomfortable emotions. This takes time and learning to rewire your thinking. If you’d like to read more about the ramifications of rumination read this article. Reaching out to a professional to support you in this can help to structure it and not do it alone!